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The news is generally filled with relentless doom and gloom. It’s rather comforting to have the internet to turn to for a ridiculous (probably made-up) story to provoke a hearty laugh. Here is a link to a news article about a rampaging beaver – BEAVER

What I love about this story in particular is the use of the word ‘rampaging’. It brings to mind Godzilla-size monsters levelling skyscrapers and howling with the screech of a pterodactyl. I can’t help but picture the canopy of a forest and seeing tree after tree first shake, wobble then fall as the fearsome creature cuts a swathe of disaster. Mind you, though, it weighs six stone! I would cross the road to avoid that one. I would question why its owner possesses 24 of them! What do you need 24 beavers for? Sounds like the beginning of a bad joke. Perhaps he is some sort of Bond-style super-villain who intends to dam up all the rivers in the world by releasing his genetically enhanced beavers into the wild.

I understand that they can actually be quite destructive, but they are fairly cute creatures that waddle on land. The concept of a beaver on the rampage is a little difficult to imagine. So, taking that idea, then there is a plague of squirrels in Edinburgh Botanic gardens sent by some Old Testament rodent-god; and for pity’s sake beware of the cats running berserk through the streets.

A decent slice of nonsense to end the year with.

Happy Hogmanay to all!